Heads up people, whether we want one or not and we don’t, sooner than it ever should be we the cineplexes will have new film- The Three Stooges, by whom? The fucking Farrelly Bros.
Shit yourself yet? Hope you had a big fucking meal since we have some more bad news, they’ve already picked the , ugh, ‘new’ stooges:
Sean Penn as Larry Fine
Benicio Del Toro as Moe Howard
Jim Carrey as fucking CURLY!?!?!?!?
You know what? Fuck you Hollywood. FUCK.YOU. I can hang back and deal with the endless sequels and remake upon remake, and indeed I tend to encourage them. But this? This isn’t like remaking Friday the 13th or some other so called ‘classic’ film. This is the fucking STOOGES! You can reimagine the shit out any one of their shorts, toss in modern jokes, colorise it or even play it word for word. You know what? It still won’t be the Stooges. This isn’t like replace Don Adams as Maxwell Smart these guys ARE the stooges. I will give the people tasked with producing this sure to be train wreck point for having balls though. Hell I love the entire idea of pissing of fans but this? I don’t think I or anyone else for that matter can ever stress enough that this is one of those rare properties that simply cannot be reworked or remade.
The final insult to all of this? More than likely the Bros. will be premiering this flick where they’ve premiered all their other movies- at the Stadium Theatre in Woonsocket RI, where I not long ago found myself enjoying a Stooges marathon.
As I leave you, here’s a classic Stooges short: Punch Drunks
(just a warning you to deal with Leslie Nielsen hamming it for the camera at the start of the first vid)