I have seen the future, and it is poorly edited. Terminator: Salvation movie review

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By now you’ve heard plenty about this flick. I mean, really, am I supposed to believe THIS is the first place you went to for impressions about this movie? Yeah, thought not. However I do appreciate the gesture and I intend to keep this short and sweet.

oh and spoilery 😀

Normally I’d kick this off by telling you to go in not expecting much (which i kinda sorta DID;)) but if you’ve already seen Terminator 3 or are a long-time fan- well I don’t feel I need to tell you that. With that said I must admit I was pleasantly surprised at how parts of the movie pulled together. When this movie is knee deep in machines vs. humans aka the ‘CGI extravaganza’ the film is all set. Sadly that same cannot be said during the quieter moments when loud noises and broken speed limits reign supreme. Hell I’ll say it- I actually found myself bored. BORED! In a Terminator movie! These movies are, at heart, glorified chase films and to find oneself wondering when it will hurry up and get on with it….well that just isn’t peachy. No it fucking ain’t.

Didn’t help that whoever was in the editing room seems to suffer from epilepsy since I can’t for the life of me think of a film so poorly edited (offhand- I know I could think of one given a little time). The standout has to be when a scene cuts from one character BACK to that very same character- now being harassed by a group of nere’do wells who seemingly appeared out of the ether with nothing but assholery on the mind.

and can anyone tell me why they thought it necessary to have the films title appear not once but TWICE in the opening? For fucks sakes guys, we goddamn know what the movie is called (they did this for the director as well, but that I’ll chalk up to vanity).

Amidst the ‘holy shit’ worthy special effects and what I feel were some of the greatest war ravaged world landscape I’ve ever seen, we had our share of phoned in performances…really they should’ve called this movie ‘Terminator: taking a paycheck,’ oh and never forget the there and back again accents and unexplained pregnancies…. Is this a terminator movie? Yeah in title and for the monsters on display, sure it is. Sadly it doesn’t hold up with the Original two, but then I wouldn’t try to compare it to them since this film is a whole different sort of beast.

I wouldn’t recommend you drop any serious cash on this, a rental would be the best way to go in my opinion.

SPOILERS!

Finally, before I go, answer this: Barring that they can in perform a heart transplant in the middle of the open desert, are we really supposed to believe that Connor will still be capable of charging into battle, gun ablazin’, afterwards? Of all the transplants I’ve ever heard of, the only thing they’re really able to do after is…..sit and maybe a short walk in the evening.

oh and I’m fucking convinced that was Michael Biehn early in the movie as one of the resistance members eyeballing connor at the base.

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About kylethoreau 146 Articles
KyleThoreau is a time-traveling axe murderer from the 1800’s. He stopped in the 2000’s because he ran out of the secret time-travel juice that the cyborg clone of Abe Lincoln gave him. He must now find the clone of Abe to return to his time-travel duties. In the meantime he has decided to report on geeky news and read comic books.

1 Comment

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