Girlscout’s beat the shit out of birthday cake!


Those fucking girlscouts. Every year they traipse around in their little green uniforms and I have to block out that one porno I once saw that featured girl scouts.

They were really adults…shut up. And don’t you fucking judge me.

Anyways….Once a year we’re all forced to shell out our cash for their damn cookies (fuck the GS calendar…seriously) and 3 bucks for 15 cookies? Outrageous! But since Girl Scout are all secretly dope dealers, I’m convinced of this and don’t you try to tell me otherwise, we all pony up the dough for our ‘fix.’ For myself, nothing says ‘damn’ like Caramel Delights. Oh those little fuckers with their chocolate striping and the copious amounts of caramel and goddamned coconut.

Just look at it. Like I told the girl scouts I ordered mine from the other day- ‘I wouldn’t suck dick for these. But I would consider it.’

Too bad they last me all of thirty-five seconds out the box. Stupid fucking fifteen per box….grr.

But thanks to Edy’s Icecream I can now eat this shit far more often! Fuck yes my bitches! Edy’s now sells ‘Samoa’ Icecream (apparently they’re changing the name to Samoa….sacrilege I know!)

and a link for further pimping (seriously Edy’s. Send me some cases of this shit!)

The stuff tastes great, very similar to cookies and cream, well except this is Caramel Delights and not Oreos. What looks to be vanilla, can’t tell because the cookie may have changed the coloring a bit, and pieces of chopped cookie make it the kick-ass alt. mode for those of us who either can’t wait, ate our supply, or lack girl scouts to order from; and alas, I’ve suffered all three of these maladies.

I’m headed out now to pick some more up (and it’s fairly cheap- under five bucks!) So talk to you later.

***EDIT*** For anyone confused, the title refers to another favorite Edy’s flavor of mine….which unless you’re fucking slow in the head would tell you is birthday cake. If the store’s out of the other one, grab this. If they don’t have this….well you’re just fucked then huh?

About kylethoreau 146 Articles
KyleThoreau is a time-traveling axe murderer from the 1800’s. He stopped in the 2000’s because he ran out of the secret time-travel juice that the cyborg clone of Abe Lincoln gave him. He must now find the clone of Abe to return to his time-travel duties. In the meantime he has decided to report on geeky news and read comic books.

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