The same yet different. Comparing Transformers 2 to G.I. Joe

GI-Joe-VS-Transformers-01You’ve been to wal-mart lately, admit it. What have you seen? Toy aisle specifically (don’t claim you don’t go there- you ARE reading THIS), well aside from DC Universe figures that AREN’T Wave 10 (save that rant for later) you’ve found yourself surrounded by toys for Transformers 2 and G.I. Joe- the movie, although less so with JOE. Transformers damn near dominate the aisles they are in.

A shame really. Since no kid should be fucking watching Transformers 2.

Before I start, you need to know I did not particularly enjoy part one of the series. But I was willing to give the second a chance. Which is something I soon regretted as it was painfully obvious that Bay and Co. continue to feel that simply because 20-something love the property, it’s alright to set about making ‘American Pie-lite.’ Part 2 is really purile, just about any scene involving non-military humans felt it needed to be as juvenile and just plain rude. What sort of things am I talking about? Multiple lewd comments, drug references (that wouldn’t be funny to people who were stoned at the time) but mainly it was the overwhelming sexual nature that turned me off.

See? I get it, the majority of the fanbase were born in the early to mid-80’s and none of this would really shock ANY of them. BUT here’s the problem. This is a film based on a property, and subsequently marketed to, CHILDREN. I’m far from a prude, but if I was a parent I sure as hell wouldn’t show my kid THIS. Michael Bay and Co. should’ve thought of this when making this film- it’s not just for the kid at heart, but also for these children of the 80’s own children.

On the flipside we have G.I. Joe. Another live action attempt at a beloved toyline/cartoon. I won’t deny being leery when I first heard of it. Only recently had I seen the first Transformers (whom I have the same opinion I have of part 2), and the leaked pics and info didn’t make me feel any better. Here, I felt, would be yet another movie that I wouldn’t show a kid who already has all the toys.

You don’t have to worry guys. The film, while at time ludicrously violent, is truly a live action version of the cartoon. However it’s definitely updated a bit. Cool and serviceable plot, some mild language (nothing you won’t hear after 8 PM on network TV) and little to no sex- ‘cept the Baroness with whom it’s fucking expected. Speaking of violence, don’t worry it’s all rather bloodless and in terms of violence very similar to the Indiana Jones movies.

What’s truly sad is that, of the two of them. I’d have expected Joe-with it’s foot in the ‘real world’ military themes- to be the more objectionable one, for the sake of ‘realism,’ Whereas Transformers, the more kiddie friendly if you ask me, ending up being the least safe for kids.

Shows what I know. My advice? Let em watch G.I. Joe with you there and either completely skip Transformers or at least have the remote handy.

About kylethoreau 146 Articles
KyleThoreau is a time-traveling axe murderer from the 1800’s. He stopped in the 2000’s because he ran out of the secret time-travel juice that the cyborg clone of Abe Lincoln gave him. He must now find the clone of Abe to return to his time-travel duties. In the meantime he has decided to report on geeky news and read comic books.


  1. I love GI Joe the movie. my favorite GI Joe character is Scarlet and the Baroness. I love the GI Joe cartoon version ever since i was a little kid.

I suppose you have a better thought on the subject?

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